This is 'Her' ice scraper. Actually, it's mine, but she lost hers, so I was nice and let her borrow mine. 4 years ago. We used to live in Minneapolis, where the winters sucked. We got a pair of these for free at a Twins game back in 1999 when we were still dating, and have used them ever since. Great scapers. Virtually indestructable - and they just laugh at the pathetic winters we get here in the Pac NW. Note the long handle so you wont get frostbite while scraping. Note the brush just in case you want to finish off the scraping job and scatter that frost-dust on the ground. This is good. This was mine. This is hers. Now. . .This is my ice scraper.
It's half of a subway sandwich card. It's only a half because a few years ago I broke off the other half while trying to scrape my windshield. If the camera phone were better, you could see the useful platic coating peeling back from the leading edge of the half-card, which makes it much less efficient at scraping windows than an ordinary half-a-card. The ice curls up and lands perfectly on my finger tips while I am scraping the window no matter what angle I approach it from - at 5am, while my wife sleeps away the morning with the lion's share of the covers in our nice warm bed - but I'm not bitter or anything. I know that I could go to Subway and ask for a new card. I simply understand that in any relationship you need to compromise and sometimes his does not equal hers, and that's OK....and it's okay because I have some other cool toys that are mine and mine alone, such as:
Ye' olde time toilet plunger. Yes, this baby is all mine. She never touches it. Never talks about getting her own, never gives me one of those little furtive jealous glances when she sees me using it, never sighs wistfully and bats her eyelashes the way she does when she sees a nice little $5000 tennis bracelet in the store window. Doesn't matter who actually did it, fear not, me and my trusty plunger will come to the rescue time and time again and splook out the problem - whatever it might be. . .
Maybe I'll get her one for our anniverssary. . .
2 comments:
Those who think marriage is an equal partnership are:
1) Single
2) Delusional
3) Both
Which year, exactly, is the "Toilet Plunger Anniversary"? I'm sure it's coming up, and I don't want to buy the wrong thing for my bride.
Possibilities as I see it, in keeping with traditional anniversary gifts:
1st - Paper: Get her a case of TP from Costco, and the plunger could be an accessory. You wouldn't go and buy a pendant without the matching earrings now, would you?
5th - Wood: Get her the plunger with the wooden handle. Maybe fancy it up by getting one of the cheap plain wooden handled ones from Home Depot and then take a router and some nice stain and engrave her name in it. (?)
9th - Pottery: Get her a new toilet bowl and accessorize properly as per the 1st. Sure, porcelain isn't quite the same as pottery, and you may have to throw in a new bath mat to really sell it, but oh, think of the long-term payoff. . .
Post a Comment